As parents, we’ve been told again and again that overpraising our kids comes at a steep price. The latest studies like this one suggest that overpraising may not only stymy kids’ resilience and self direction, but may even turn them into narcissists. Overstating it? Perhaps.
Regardless of how you weigh in on that topic, however, most of us can agree that we’d like our kids to be able to handle constructive criticism positively. Learning to deal with feedback is, after all, a cornerstone of personal and professional growth.
In a New York Times parenting article, English teacher and writer Jessica Lahey discusses how we can help our kids deal with and learn from both positive and not-so-positive feedback.
The key? Developing a “growth mindset,” an attitude that believes that with effort and challenge we can be better, stronger and smarter. (As opposed to a “fixed mindset” where we believe our inherent assists are unchanging, regardless of what we do.
So how to we help our kids develop a growth mindset? (Heck, how do we develop one ourselves?!?)
- Back off on the constant praise: It can actually deflate self-esteem in kids. Instead focus on constructive feedback.
- Sub in strategic pronouns: Instead of framing the phrase, “I’m so proud of you,” try, “You should be proud of yourself.”
Click here to read more tips and the rest of the article.